Last December I gave myself permission to enjoy my favorite foods, desserts and beverages. I have not been able to clearly relay the message to my brain that the eating is to revert back to my “normal”. I gave myself the same freedom in December 2006 only to end up with the same result: binge eating. Not one to self-diagnose I can’t say that I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder (BED), but I know that when I give myself the okay to eat any and everything, it’s very hard to turn that switch off.

I knew nothing of BED until flipping through a magazine and seeing a lot of myself in the symptoms. For me it always starts off as a gradual progression after nearly 11 months of good eating habits, then I flip that crazy-eating switch in December and I start off with 3 Oreo cookies here, a glass of Pepsi there. It then progresses into half a sweet potato pie, two large helpings at dinner. Into waking up in the morning with good intentions that are cereal, a Slim Fast shake, but become eggs-bacon-toast while watching television, popcorn shortly after that, then I’ll skip lunch thinking I don’t deserve to have anything healthy or otherwise.

By 3:30 I’m scarfing down more sugary cereal, a Pop Tart, a Boca burger and fries, peanut butter cups and Hot Tamales candies, a bowl of popcorn and the one glass of water I’ve convinced myself to drink to wash it all down. And I don’t eat at a normal pace, I feel like I’m in this zone and I can’t control myself I have to eat it all NOW. And to think it all started with 3 little old Oreos.

Along with a sudden lack of exercise (I’d given myself a free pass on that for December too!), my brain’s antidepressant, and a constant ration of sugar sent me spiraling into what I now recognize as binge eating.

According to the journal Biological Psychiatry, bingeing involves eating an abnormally large amount of food within a certain amount of time with no attempt of ridding oneself of the excessive calories, such as vomiting in bulimia. This is usually accompanied by a feeling of lack of control over eating.

In-depth research surrounding the causes and cures for the actual Binge Eating Disorder is still being done, but so far BED is said to be very common among about 3.5% of women. It is more prominent in women but it affects men as well. It seems BED starts, for most, in childhood while it strikes later in life for others only to be followed by extreme dieting. According to Dr. Cynthia Bulik, the author of “Runaway Eating”, the body rebels after the extreme diet, then overcompensates with the first binge. The bingeing progresses slowly then becomes more frequent.

Research is also focusing on the possibility of genetics playing a role in binge eating suggesting some may be more vulnerable to junk food. One researcher even suggests “junk food binges and opiate drugs set off the same pleasure receptors.” It can’t be easy fighting off that kind of reaction on your own.

Symptoms of BED include:

• frequent episodes of eating large quantities of food in short periods of time
• feeling out of control overeating behavior
• feeling ashamed or disgusted by the behavior
• eating when not hungry
• eating in secret

Along with obesity, having this disorder puts those affected at risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, fatigue, joint pain, Type II diabetes, gallbladder disease, and heart disease.

Treatment options for BED are similar to those offered for other eating disorders including talk therapy and antidepressants but a doctor’s help in deciding the best method is highly suggested.

For me, I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and we’re approaching the end of January. I know what I have to do to stay off the “runaway” train, I just hope I can stay focused and away from that train ‘station’. Once I’m in that parking lot it seems impossible for me to avoid buying a one-way ticket into binge eating. If I don’t continue to feel this sense of control over it I’m definitely getting help. If you or someone you know is struggling with binge eating, I hope help is what you will seek too.