A friend recently posted her frustration with mooching kids on her Facebook page: "What is it about some people who let their kids mooch all the time? Enough already!" Harmless as the post may have seemed, she immediately received a spate of responses that fell into two camps: Those who agreed and commiserated, and those promised never to send their kids to her house again.

Apparently, she'd struck a nerve with both groups, the parents who feel taken advantage of ("moochees"), and those who fear they fall squarely in the "Can you give Spencer a ride home and feed him dinner?" category (the moochers).   The obvious emotion of some of the comments got me thinking – what parents need is a set of guidelines to keep them from venturing into mooching territory. So I've come up with the following: Five Ways to Keep from Crossing the Mooching Line:  

1. Keep track. While friendships shouldn't be based on a tit-for-tat scorecard, keep a rough count of how many times you've hosted the gang. If your kid spends more time at the neighbor's than at your house (or if she's started listing the neighbor as her emergency contact instead of you) it may be time to have everyone over.
    
2. Don't take advantage of the SAHM. Just because a parent isn't "working" doesn’t mean she isn't WORKING. Sure, she may be home during the day, but that doesn't mean she's free to pick Taylor up and take her to the dentist, or drop Kyle's lunch off at school because you forgot. If you find yourself asking for these sorts of favors more than say, once a year, do yourself (and your friends) a favor and hire a nanny.
    
3. Ask! Think you're taking advantage of someone's hospitality? Ask! They may assure you that Blaine is always welcome at their house, but you'll be able to tell loads from the tone of voice, rolling of eyes, or hesitation. (Note: This is best done face-to-face, as you can miss many important non-verbal cues via email exchanges).
    
4. Think creatively. If you have seven children, a full-time job, and an invalid mother you're caring for, you may not be able to host the weekly movie night like some parents do. But you can return their generosity in other ways. Offer to pay for the pizza, drive their carpool one week, or drop off some fresh flowers as a thanks. "Payback" doesn't have to be in equal currency to be valid.
    
5. Remember that life goes in seasons. Illnesses, job losses, new babies, and travel schedules all interrupt the ideal flow of life. If you're going through one of these phases, give yourself a break and accept offered help with an open heart. Just remember that when things ease up, YOU'RE on the hook for paying it forward!