I received a Kindle for Christmas and although I adore my new e-book reader, I've already bumped into one of its limitations — the first book I read is so fascinating I want to lend it to other parents I know, but I can't cause it's just a bunch of data on my Kindle.

So instead, let me tell you all about it. The book is called NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children, by What Should I Do with My Life? author Po Bronson and co-author Ashley Merryman. It uses research — good research, in the form of multiple, thorough studies and reputable academics — to challenge not just old wive's tales about parenting but also a lot of the au courant beliefs that parents trade at the playground and new parenting standards that many of us feel the need to conform to.

Here are just a few of the surprises this book held for me:

1. Even the sweetest kids will lie. A lot.

An experiment called the peeking game showed that 80% of 4-year-olds will cheat at a game given the opportunity, and 80% of those who cheated will lie about it. When they become teens, lying to parents about at least some things seems to be a natural — and maybe necessary — part of becoming an independent individual.

2. Kids are not naturally race-blind.

Like so many white, liberal parents, I had hoped that bringing my kids up in a multicultural neighborhood meant they would naturally grow up with little or no racial bias. I avoided talking about race with my kindergartener because I didn't really want her to grow up seeing people as belonging to different races.

But when given questionnaires about their racial attitudes, children of the most well-meaning white parents reveal that they do not really get the message of racial equality or learn that it's OK to play with kids of other races. After parents sat down and discussed it with them, kids' racial attitudes improved.

3. Getting less sleep than they need isn't just a little bit bad for kids.

Short sleep can cut kids' academic performance by two grade levels — "a slightly-sleepy sixth grader will perform in class like a mere fourth-grader." Sleep deprivation can also increase their chance of obesity. Having a sleep disorder can cut a kid's IQ as much as lead exposure. Even letting kindergarteners stay up late on weekends only can cut their IQ scores — by the same 7 points that kids reportedly gain by having breastfed as infants.

Want to save thousands of dollars on SAT test prep? Convince your high school to move back its start time — which has resulted in jaw-dropping increases in SAT scores.

4. Perhaps the most successful preschool program in preparing kids for academics does not focus on early academics.

The program, called Tools of the Mind, focuses on playing make believe as a path to learning self-control, self-determination, and the concept of symbolic thought. The results have been so good that one school terminated a controlled trial of it because they felt it was unethical to deprive the control group of the program.

I could go on and on — Nurture Shock is full of the kind of facts and figures that can really change minds about what we thought we knew, as well as very convincing case studies.

This is not a book about how to use the latest research to get your kid ahead in school and the world. Actually, it's the opposite. Although I learned a little bit about how better to banter with my babbling baby in this book, mainly the research-based advice in that chapter enhances what I do by instinct.

And that, for me, is the message of the whole book: We cannot hack our kids to get them ahead in life. Most of our efforts to do so — to use results of a study or a salespitch to jump start kids' learning — will backfire. Having your kid do so many classes and activities that they don't get enough sleep will not get them ahead — it can seriously hamper their ability to learn, not to mention enjoy life. Exposing your infant to a constant barrage of chatter will not help them learn to talk faster — and by now we all know that buying so-called educational videos won't either. Having preschoolers study reading and writing at the expense of creative play backfires too.

The more I read about how to raise a child, the less I realize I have to do. And that's a message I like.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate Amazon links so I can get rich.