Maybe you’ve witnessed this for yourself. A young child is demanding a toy or a piece of candy and the ever-vigilant parents swoop in and say, “What’s the magic word?” Of course, the child ignores them, never saying “please,” or “thank-you,” and then gets exactly what he wants.

Or how about the young child who is at the table and won’t eat her broccoli (some of you might support her in this), so mom and dad lay down the law: no desert until you eat your broccoli. By the end of the meal, however, her plate of untouched vegetables is replaced with a dish of her favorite ice cream.

Sound familiar?

If you spend any reasonable amount of time around families, it should, because these are typical examples of parents not following through on their word. Every parent is guilty of it. I know I am, though I’ve come to a much better understanding as to why I do it - I’m simply following the path of least resistance, or shall I say, taking the easy way out?

Let’s face it, life is hard. Parenthood is even harder. Why would we want to make it more so? We may have an issue with our children’s behavior, but one thing we loathe even more is conflict and confrontation, especially when we are tired and our brains are fried, (which for me entails every waking moment) or even worse, when other parents are around.

Nevertheless, even though it’s usually simpler to just do it ourselves or let them slide on their manners, it is important to establish credibility that will influence our children’s interactions not just with us, but with every person they encounter, and the only way to accomplish this is by following through on our words.

Needless to say, they won’t go down without a fight. Our children are capable of challenging us in ways we never imagined. But keeping a few key things in mind will go a long way to maintaining a healthy relationship with them while helping you to raise well-mannered and respectful kids.

Stay true to your word, and don’t back down - Once you begin to let undesirable behavior go without consequences, you establish a precedent that is that much harder to change. Children are experts at preying on our weaknesses and will do it with reckless abandon to get what they want. Besides, they can be a lot more cooperative than you realize if you are firm.

Don’t mistake popularity for love - It’s something we all know, but your job as a parent is not to be their best friend. Your decisions may make you unpopular, but stick to them. You’re older and a little wiser, and doing what’s best for them isn’t always about making them happy.

Be consistent - Children need consistency in their lives, especially when it comes to rules and guidelines. Changing things on a whim or out of guilt not only confuses them, but sends a mixed message that opens the door for them to take advantage of you.

Be on the same page with your spouse - I used to suspect that my folks would sit up all night and map out their game plan to deal with us. Now that I’m a parent, I do just that. When we are not in agreement, battle lines are drawn, and authority suffers.

Avoid taking the easy way out - Even though life is so much simpler if you just do it yourself, as opposed to hounding your kids to do it, it is important that they understand the consequences of going against your wishes.

Work with your kids, not against them - I’ve found that children often want to take part in chores if it means they get to help you, so why not do the job together? While this is usually not the most efficient way to get the job done, try and remember that the true goal here is to teach your children important life lessons.

Lead by example - Show them that the things you expect from them are the same as what you expect from yourself. This applies to not only work habits, but to manners and behavior, as well.

Keep your promises - It works both ways. If you promise your children something and then decide it’s either too much of a hassle or it doesn’t matter enough for you or your children to care, think again. Kids are smart, and they remember. Breaking your word, besides being unfair and dishonorable, will only lead to resentment and distrust.

In the end, it boils down to an issue of respect. Once your children understand that you mean what you say, they will be less likely to question or manipulate you since they know there will be consequences.

And having well behaved kids is a great reward, because not only will they make you look good, but nothing can match the satisfaction and joy of having pleasant, happy children who are healthy in mind, body, and spirit.