Welcome to the Putz house. There are five of us wearing ten hearing aids. On a good day, all ten hearing aids are perched on someone's ears when we're not playing "hunt for the hearing aid."

Just last week, we had the hearing aid day from down under. My daughter, the middle child attending middle school, couldn't find one of her hearing aids. She couldn't wear the other one due to an ear ache. We were already late meeting a friend and her kids--a 40-minute drive away. I launched all three kids and the hubby into the hearing-aid-hunt mode and we tore through the house.

This wouldn't be a problem if the house wasn't a mess, grumbled the hubby.

It wouldn't be a problem if the kid would keep the hearing aids in her ears, I grumbled back.

We gave up.

The middle kid had a melt-down in the van on the way. The tears washed out one of her contact lens.

On to the floor of the van.

Middle kid refused to pick it up and hold it until I could find a Walgreens and wash it with saline.

"It's on a dirty floor! I'm not putting that thing back in my eye!"

So, I had a kid who couldn't hear and could only see out of one eye. Her older brother was teasing her and she was hollering back at him. The hubby texted me to say he found the hearing aid in a pile of clothes on the floor in her room.

I was driving along and mentally calculating the cost of staying at Canyon Ranch for a week.

Blissfully, I was able to turn off my own hearing aids.