The mess that a preschooler makes is revolting at times. Determined to straighten without doing ALL the work, I implemented a plan to include them in my duties. It worked better than I could have ever hoped for.

“Clean up, clean up...” says Barney and my kids. The song is annoying, but it has a magical effect that turns my boys from stubborn stalwarts into handy helpers. This is great for getting them “in the spirit” to clean, but how do I get them to understand where everything goes so they can do it on their own?

Give them easy access – but not too easy. Put the most harmless and easiest to maintain items near the reach of your kids. Socks and shoes are easy to put back, so keep them low to the ground (plus it helps them to be able to dress themselves later.) Keep puzzles, legos, and “special occasion” toys up high – this will prevent having to sort out 15 different puzzles by their pictures alone. By keeping larger toys that are easy to sort where they can get to them at any time, they will learn to play with these on their own, and will also be more eager to pick up after themselves. I can't blame a kid for not wanting to play 52-card (or marble) pick-up. (This will also prevent choking hazards for those rooms where infants may visit.)

Everything in its place. The first thing I learned about my boys is that they love to engineer wild contraptions from everyday junk. I always find a new “robot” in their room, composed of clothes hangers, shoes, sippy cups, and one of two of my bras. Each time, I'm left picking up after them, putting all the random objects back in their places at our house. I really wished I could get them to do this on their own, so I taught them: one object at a time. We would play a game, the “where do we put this game.” It wasn't really a game, but it taught them what they needed to know. “Where does Mommy's shoe go?” “Where do we put the toothbrush?” “Where does the doggy's collar go?” One by one, we put each thing in its appropriate place. I usually handed it to them and followed as they plodded through the house to return the contraband to it's home. It took awhile, but it gave them a sense of accomplishment, and they never complained.

Work until it's done. I used to think that cleaning was best handled in manageable chunks. If figured that if I let the kids work alongside with me for no more than 15 minutes, it would be more enjoyable and less painful. All this thinking seemed to do was teach the kids a kind of ADD tendency that never worked well for Mommy, and it never allowed them to realize the picture of meeting a bigger goal. One day I told the kids that we were going to clean their room – the whole room. We stood on chairs, and crawled under beds, and dusted, and wiped, and sorted, and sweated. It took over two hours, but when we were done, the boys beamed with accomplishment. “Mom! We did all this?!? We are great!” And they saw what they could do, and they worked even harder to keep it that way. Sometimes pushing your kids to their full limit is the best gift you can give them: household chores included.

It's OK to want more for your kids. Don't feel like you are ever a hypocrite simply because you don't want your kids to learn your crappy cleaning habits. If you are a stacker, boxer, or shuffler, there is hope for you; but there's even more hope for your children (who haven't acquired 30 years of clutter-bug tendencies.) If the kids ask why you don't follow your own mantra, simply tell them that Mommy is trying. Ask the kids to help you remember or ask their advice on organizing (you'd be surprised what they would tell you.) I beamed with pride the day my son told me that putting puzzles in a box was silly because the boxes always broke. He asked if he could put them in Ziploc bags, and even specified the kind with the slider (which are easier for little hands to manage.) Man, kids are beautiful.

Cleaning can be a bonding event. It can be a great way to reward kids for their hard work. It can also be a good excuse to pull out the iRobot vacuum (which is really fun to watch.) Most of all, it is a super life lesson that can promote responsibility, stewardship, and love. Just don't put it past your small kids to be able to learn these simple things....