My five-year-old recently started attending a new school in a class called "Reception 2", the local International School version of a kindergarten, and along with all the new relationships he's developing, there's one I need to get under way, as well ... the one between me and his teacher. 

Since we're in the early stages of getting-to-know-you with the woman Sam now spends a great deal of most days with, this article out of Wales, "Teachers learn how to deal with aggressive parents", caught my eye and started me thinking on the millions of interactions involving parents and teachers that happen around school age children regularly. 

As the article points out, many teachers complain about pushy parents who won't see failings in their little darlings or accept reports of brat behavior or bullying and the stress this causes, especially when indications are that "parents are becoming increasingly aggressive and demanding." 

In response to this, teachers in Wales are being offered courses in conflict management and mediation, a very good idea in my book, as the communication from teacher to parent is often less effective than it could be.
Some parents feel teachers talk down to them and look on them as if they are not very intelligent. “Sometimes it’s not the fault of the parents, it’s the attitude of the teacher. Often the best teachers can relate to children, but don’t cope very well with adults."
I have to admit that there have been times during my many years of parenting when I have been considered a "difficult parent", and although I've not been aggressive, I most certainly have been assertive and demanding. From where I sit, that is part of my job as a mom. 

Advocating for those in our charge too young to do so for themselves is a parental responsibility no one would challenge on most fronts, but when that advocacy reaches into the education realm, there are those who are quicker than they should be to assume that the parent will be on the wrong end of the stick while a teacher has the skills to wield it properly. 

Sure, I've seen the obnoxious mothers and fathers of obnoxious children who have so obviously learned less than stellar manners from apples not far fallen from trees with roots going back a couple of generations, and we can all pity not only the child, but also teachers or anyone else forced to interact with these parenting horrors, but we've also seen no few rotten teachers ... or at least I've seen no few rotten teachers. 

My 6th grade teacher kept me after school so he could attempt to molest me ... he got a swift kick out of the deal, but I didn't reveal the obviously traumatic experience until I was well into adulthood ... and my oldest daughter took an incredible amount of abuse from a power-hungry idiot who was frequently wrong on her facts and hated having that pointed out until I stepped in and raised a ruckus. 

Other teachers have been less outright dangerous, but guilty of laziness, petty cruelty, bigotry and burnout, all conditions that impact kids for a whole year of their lives and can hammer the heck out of enthusiasm for learning. 

A teaching credential does not convey sainthood, and no teacher should have any saintly or superior status assumed, either by parents or themselves, nor does it set up an adversarial relationship. As with anyone, respect and trust must be earned, and it's our job as parents to go through the yearly process of establishing just when that has happened with the people who we entrust our children to. 

I'm already hearing the response in my head from teachers out there who face the worst of parenting both first-hand and in the results, those dedicated and caring and doing a wonderful job, and I'm sorry if I seem to be rattling the cage, but they know even better than I do that there are some in their field that do more harm than good and that the cage needs a darned good shake every year.

As parents, our duty to our kids doesn't take a break when they enter the hallowed halls of whatever institution of learning they head into Monday through Friday most weeks of the year. It is up to us to ensure that the environment there is as safe as it can be and that it delivers the product our children are there to receive. If this makes us unpopular, so be it. 

No matter who pays the salaries, teachers work for us, and the work they are to do is some of the most vital that will ever touch our children. It's their job to teach, and it's our job to make sure they're doing that well.