Congratulations! You are going on a trip without your child/children and hours of uninterrupted adult time await you. While this realization may cause feelings of confusion, rest assured that this guide will serve as your steadfast companion as you prepare for this momentous occasion.
A childless vacation requires both mental and physical preparation on your end, which is why I have broken down the process into four simple steps. This system was created to help you maximize the precious time you have to enjoy child-free travel and accommodations. By sticking to these steps, your childless vacation will live up to all the expectations you have assigned to it. Let’s get started!
Step 1: Stay Positive
This trip is a good idea, and there is no reason to tell yourself otherwise. The children are going to be fine while you are away. Everyone will sleep, eat, poop, and keep breathing while you are basking in the glow of room service. Continue to remind yourself of these truths as your trip draws closer.
Step 2: Forget the Rules
During your childless vacation, you are allowed to stay up past your bedtime, sleep in, nap, make a mess, watch whatever you like on television, take a 40-minute bubble bath, and say swear words as loud and as often as you wish. Equip yourself for this by temporarily reprogramming your brain to forget the rules of home. Revel in these loose boundaries while you can as all above mentioned luxuries come with an expiration/departure date.
Step 3: Use Only One Suitcase
It may be difficult to process, but you will only need to pack* for one person. Enjoy the feeling of freedom as you choose items that only you will need on this journey. You may notice a feeling of incompleteness while packing, as if you have more to do. You do not. Once your suitcase is packed, your work is finished.
Step 4: Skip List Making
As you prepare to leave your children, you will feel the overwhelming urge to create lists to leave with the caregiver covering every possible topic relevant to your family’s life. This is not a good use of your time. The caregiver will not read it, not even once. Do yourself and the caregiver a favor and leave an envelope of cash instead. This also applies to laying out clothes you wish for your children to wear while you’re gone.
Once you have completed these four steps, you are only a childless plane flight away from tossing yourself onto a bed that you didn’t have to make. You have stayed positive, forgotten the rules, used only one suitcase, and drafted not one list; the trail has been blazed and you are reaching the summit. Cheers to your childless vacation!
*The creators of this guide are strong believers of saying “carpe diem” when there is a hot tub on a childless vacation, which is why we recommend that you always pack a swimsuit. Even if you are headed to the frozen tundra, pack a swimsuit. There is nothing worse than not having a swimsuit when you have the opportunity to soak in a hot tub. You do not want to be the person sitting on the side of the hot tub with their jeans rolled up to their knees, dipping only their feet in the hot tub.