I was having a conversation the other day with dad I’d met at the playground. From the get-go, it was clear that he’d been corralled into parenting duty, and while I commend him for taking the time out of his day to watch the children, it was painfully obvious that he did not want to be there (the insatiable need to check his cell phone was a dead giveaway), and how this was truly not going to be a regular thing. (For the record, children are a lot more intuitive than we give them credit for, and this sort of attitude speaks volumes to them)

In fact, when the discussion came up about rigmarole of watching over the children, which, along with sports, is a regular topic of discussion amongst dads, he declared to me, with no small amount of pride, “I sure am glad I don’t have this job.”

My first thought was, “This is your job. You’re a father, so deal with it.” It really got me to thinking about a lot of fathers I know who have washed their hands of their paternal responsibilities.

Now don’t get me wrong. Men work hard in a number of capacities, either by bringing home the bacon or tending to the house. And they love their kids, I don’t question that for a second, but when it comes to matters of being a father, of spending quality time with their kids or simply being a presence in their lives, many of us have been absolved of any serious responsibilities.

And I understand that even under the best of circumstances being a parent is difficult. When the going gets rough, it can be bring even the toughest of men to his knees. But isn’t that all the more reason to lend a helping hand?

In fact, in the spirit of Sherry Pardy’s article about Shared Parenting, would it be such a stretch to think of parenting as the ultimate team sport? I’ve touched on his before, but when you really get down to it, all the elements are there. Hard work, focus, determination, and individual sacrifice for the good of the team, with the team, in this case, being your family.

It’s interesting to think that when an athlete sacrifices his body and risks his life for the good of his team, it’ll bring a tear to some men’s eye, but the idea of sacrifice for his family is often unthinkable.

So with this in mind, I’d like to suggest a few things to help out the team and maybe even maintain a bit more familial ,as well as spousal, harmony.

• Fight to keep the team strong. It’s not always easy to get the other parent more involved, and that parent won’t necessarily go out of his or her way to play along, but just remember what you’re fighting for (your kids) and make sure partner is ready to take part. Do not let them slide, even if makes you temporarily unpopular (Wow, it’s not unlike dealing with children, isn’t it?).

• Talk about it. Communication is key in order to keep everyone, if not elated, then at least somewhat content. There is no perfect situation, so people will need to vocalize their happiness or angst in order to work towards a solution.

• Cater to your strengths. And of course, to the strengths of your teammate. This will make the job easier and more efficient, rather than feeling impotent, which can breed frustration and resentment.

• Try to work together. I know it’s hard and parents need a break, but think of how rewarding family outings can be, together. Sure, you don’t get to go out and suck down a few cocktails with your pals, but there’s still plenty of fun to be had with your family. And it’s that time together that instills the children with the best memories.

• Find activities you can agree on. This may call for some sacrifice on both parent’s part, but if you can do something together that everyone can find some enjoyment in, then it’s a win-win situation, remembering, of course, that both of you have to be willing to compromise.

• Turn off the TV. Don’t use it as an excuse to spend time together as a family, because this is not quality time. You might as well be in separate rooms.

In the end, it’s not always easy, but being on a winning team usually isn’t. Indeed, it’s through hard work and sacrifice that we actually come to really value an end result, so why not make that end result our family’s well being?

I’d like to finish by saying that the disconnected parent is hardly the sole provenance of dads. There are plenty of mothers I run into where it’s clear to me that being around their kids is akin to pulling teeth.

But I think it’s fair to say that for the most part, moms have a strong maternal instinct that pushes them to want to be with their kids, or at least do what’s best for them. Maybe it’s biological, maybe it’s societal, maybe it’s both. I can’t say. Whatever be the case, mothers are generally more willing to make sacrifices for their kids, which goes long way to encouraging them to be more of a team player when the opportunity presents itself.

Can you, as a parent, say the same thing?

Suffice it to say that the ball is in your court, the clock is ticking, and your team needs you. What are you going to do about it?