By now, we've all heard them, or at least heard of them. Mel Gibson made internet headlines with his disturbing phone calls to his girlfriend. The tapes include name calling, insults, threats, heavy breathing and plenty of swear words. The way I see it, the only good that can come of his crazy talk is to use this situation as an example for our daughters. Girls, listen up: Mel Gibson is a shining example of what women don't want.

1. Women don't want to be called names. The old adage "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" isn't true when it comes to emotional abuse. Words do hurt…and name calling hurts. Someone who loves you will not resort to name calling to belittle you.

2. Women don't want to be threatened. Mel suggests that he'll put his girlfriend "in a rose garden." Translation? He is threatening to kill her. It's important to teach our girls to take such threats seriously. If someone threatens to harm you, they're likely capable of it.

3. Women don't want to be diminished. Mel is heard repeatedly telling his girlfriend that she is only good for one thing — sex. Let's teach our girls that sex is only one part of a healthy relationship (age appropriate, of course). If a man neglects to value your WHOLE self, he doesn't deserve any part of you.

4. Women don't want Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Mel is charming and personable in interviews. Hollywood loved him for his good looks and charm. The tapes show a much different side. Girls should be wary of a boyfriend who has a public side with a drastically different personal side.

5. Women don't want to be yelled at. This one is basic. The screaming, heavy breathing, and maniacal tone? It's unacceptable. Period.

While these five don'ts may seem like common sense, teen girls need to be taught what to expect (and what to accept) in relationships. Girls who are subjected to emotional abuse (Mel is a poster child for this behavior) will likely be at risk for physical abuse.

Why You Need to Talk To Your Young Teenage Daughter About Dating Violence

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three teenagers have experienced violence in a dating relationship. Teens may become involved in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons including inexperience in dating situations, peer pressure, desire for independence from parents, and an unrealistically romantic view of relationships.

Make sure your daughter and every other young girl and woman you know learn the early warning signs of domestic abuse including:

  • Extreme jealousy
  • Controlling behavior
  • Quick involvement
  • Unpredictable mood swings
  • Alcohol and drug use
  • Explosive anger
  • Isolates you from friends and family
  • Uses force during an argument
  • Shows hypersensitivity
  • Believes in rigid sex roles
  • Blames others for his problems or feelings
  • Cruel to animals or children
  • Verbally abusive
  • Abused former partners

Rather than chalk this buzz up to celebrity gossip, use it as an opportunity to talk to your daughters. Oh, and Mel? You're a jerk.