A recent Associated Press article discusses the growing trend of U.S. colleges to allow for mixed company in dorm living arrangements. This new acceptance of coed cohabitation isn’t what disturbs me; It’s how the parents continue to teach an age-old lie about relationships and what truly matters.

As boys and girls (or young men and women) become increasingly comfortable with sharing everything in a strictly platonic kind of way, it’s not surprising that a tiny dorm room would be included. Participants in the coed dorm lifestyle insist that the arrangement has nothing to do with sex – in fact, they cite their lack of interest in each other as the main reason they know it will work. Add the growing number of gay and lesbian students who choose to use coed dorm rooms as a way to feel comfortable in a largely heterosexual world, and you will see this practice becoming more popular in the next few years.

How I feel about coed living is irrelevant to the most pressing issue: how our young people view sex and relationships. As parents, we will pass down our views on marriage and life to our children, both through our actions and our words. So let’s hear what some parents of these coed crusaders are saying about their non-traditional choice:

"When you have a male and female sharing such close quarters, I think it's somewhat delusional to think there won't be sexual tension.”

This is coming from a mother who knows that many couples have met in the fruit section of the grocery store (a place where binge drinking and daily clothes changes are not the norm.)

What are the kids saying? The young woman interviewed for the AP articles assures both the reporter and her parents that her relationship with the new roomie is strictly like a sister:

"I'm really close to him, and I consider him one of my really good friends," she said. "I really trust him. That trust makes it work."

Um.. OK. Maybe we’re forgetting the premise that all really great romance novels and movies are made from:

Boy and girl are friends (just friends.) Boy and girl eventually realize that friendship makes the best relationship. Boy and girl admit their love potential and live happily ever after.

You don’t have to see “Made of Honor”, “13 Going on 30”, or the unfortunate “Are We There Yet” to figure that one out.

Let’s call a spade a spade and start waking up to the way the world really works. Let’s honestly tell our children that it’s not that we don’t trust them to keep their pants on in a coed relationship. It’s just that we know that the best sex, relationships, and marriage come from the one thing that the young lady in our article kept defending: trust and friendship.

Teaching our kids about sex happens before college. Maybe when we realize that most of our college kids are living less like American Pie and more like Napolean Dynamite, we will be able to teach them how the world really works.