Recently my life has undergone a huge change for the better. This change has allowed me to do such thrilling things as run over to the mall for a last minute birthday present, spend an extra ten minutes in the cosmetics aisle at Walgreens, and even go out for the occasional cocktail with my husband. The name of my happiness: the house key!

I’m talking of course about leaving my kids home alone.

How Young Is Too Young?

I’ve been leaving the kids home alone for a while now. They are nine and eleven and they only stay home alone together. The decision was based on my very intimate knowledge of my own children and I’ve had only positive feelings about it.

Until today.

While looking for interesting things to opine upon, I came across an article talking about the legal age to leave children home alone. There’s a legal age? Oops. Except that really there’s not. The recommended age according to Latchkey-Kids.com and the National SAFEKIDS Campaign is twelve. However, most states don’t even actually have a legal age minimum. (You can check out the link to find out if your state does.)

The article points out that a child's maturity level should be considered when making the decision to leave him home alone or not. Um…duh.

Lynn Yaney, spokeswoman for the agency that handles child welfare in Contra Costa County, California, states: "A general rule of thumb is that kids under age seven aren't capable of thinking logically and putting cause and effect together," Tanner said. "They are reliant on caregivers to structure their day." Children between ages 7 and 10 years aren't generally ready to self-supervise for an extended period, but in a routine and predictable environment, such as just after school, they can manage, Tanner said. Children 12 and 13 years old should be judged on a case-by-case basis but should not be left alone overnight.

The Gradual Progression

Every situation is different. I happen to live in a neighborhood with over forty kids within a one-block radius. My kids know almost all the parents by name and I know that at a given time at least four or five households will have a responsible adult inside — adults my kids know and trust. That makes leaving them home alone easier.

When my husband and I started testing the waters it was for short errands. Did we really need to pack unwilling kids into the car for a trip to Home Depot? Would they get into too much trouble if I left them for the fifteen minutes it would take to run to the store for the missing dinner ingredient?

We gave them house keys to let themselves in after school in case we were running late. Then we worked up to longer trips. We Christmas shopped alone — together — for the first time last year. The mall is a mile from home. It felt safe.

Now we’re up to going out for a few hours in the evening. We’re still not going far, sticking to a few miles from home each time. But the freedom is electrifying I have to tell you. Next month we’re trying for dinner and a movie.

When did you, or when will you, start leaving your kids home alone?