Recently, my babysitter took some great shots of my kids----she’s got a great camera she purchased with her babysitting money (note to self: if I paid for her camera, how come I don’t have one?!). You wouldn’t believe though, the brouhaha that transpired when I sent a couple of the babysitter's best shots to my daughter’s godmother.  Her godmother freaked out and then suddenly, I'm being accused of sending child porn.

    The backstory:

    My kids, especially my daughter is in full blown pretend mode. Every day she is any number of things: lizards, snakes, lions, tigers, bears, mountain lions, and most recently---a dog. This partly started when we rented the old CATS musical from the library. We are lucky if Paloma makes it to school in the morning dressed as a human! Are you the type that encourages creativity and imaginative play? I am and sometimes I wish that I hadn’t been so encouraging.

    But nonetheless, we now live in a house with two parents, a son, and  a daughter who is often some sort of animal. Our babysitter knows this and good sport that she is, she often photographs them at their most imaginative moments.

    So it came as no surprise that the babysitter (fifteen years old) photographed Paloma through her "dog" week. Paloma barks, strips down to her birthday suit except for underwear and walks on all fours. She took a series of great photos of Paloma the dog. Paloma had made herself a collar and put it on for the pictures. I thought nothing of it. Godmother asked what was new. I said, this week your goddaughter is a dog.

    Enter the controversy:

    When I saw the six photographs of my daughter making barking, happy, angry, treat begging faces, I thought "dog week." When her godmother saw them she flipped out and saw S&M and child porn bondage. Who put the collar on her?! Her godmother demanded. Why are you letting your daughter be photographed half naked with a bondage collar? Her freak out had me freaking out. Was I a bad parent because I didn’t see it her way? Her godmother was relentless. ”You are submitting your daughter to S&M. She’s going to be scarred. If that was my babysitter, I’d fire her.“

    I love our babysitter. No one could be more innocent and sweet and savvy at the same time. Comes from a great home. Homeschooled even. I shot my babysitter an email and let her know what was happening and that it all seemed strange. 

I don't think twice about photographing my kids in all states of dressed up and undressing. I photograph them myself as they are. If I had to wait until my daughter was fully dressed there wouldn't be a single photo of her. As soon as she hits the doorway of our house half her clothes come off.

    I started remembering American photographer Sally Mann’s portraits of her children in her book Immediate Family in which they were depicted naked and dressed in and around their Virginia farm one summer. Kids take off their clothes; adults don’t have to do it for them. And is underwear naked? Who cares if a girl isn’t wearing a bathing suit top when she’s four? There’s nothing there to hide. The more I thought about everything the more troubled I became. Was I too permissive? What would I do to Paloma’s spirit if I told her she couldn’t play animals anymore ---or that she needed to be fully clothed if there was a camera around.

    Meanwhile, I called my daughter over and we looked at the photos together. Where did you get the collar, Paloma? I asked her. My daughter’s response? I made it with tape. Okay , I said. Why did you need the collar?

    My daughter looked at me like I was an idiot. For fleas, mommy. Dogs don’t want fleas. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that? Why didn’t her godmother? We were ready to find a child exploitation ring under my nose and it was all about fleas.

    I now want to thank both my daughter and the babysitter. In this day and age when we are too paranoid to face innocence straight on, they’ve taught me a valuable lesson. Our adult minds are on such constant guard that we almost forget that innocence and imagination still exist. And perhaps those of us with less than stellar childhoods need to be reminded that sometimes a dog collar is just a dog collar.

How does the average ParentingSquad reader feel about letting kids be animals? About photographing children in their natural state? Anyone else have someone in their family freaking them out about child porn?