I'm amazed by the things I'm willing to do as a parent, but it just goes to show you, parenthood is the ultimate character building process. I especially liked #5, though we dispense with the euphemisms and come right out and say, "I have to make a poo-poo/pee-pee." It's much better for shock value. In terms of offending our childless friends, we simply get around that by no longer associating with them.

When it comes to wiping our kids noses with my shirt, I have no problem with that because I do that with my own nose, anyway, and as far as butt-wiping goes, I agree that it's truly the provenance of a loving parent, because I'm not man enough to do it for someone else's child. I've changed other kids' soiled diapers and it wasn't easy. There is some evolutionary mechanism that makes it more bearable, or dare I say enjoyable, to be attending to your own gene pool.