this observation, fred, is so true, and has been perhaps one of my biggest lessons as a mother. i thought i was my job, my hobbies, my litany of successes (and failures). my son doesn't care about any of that. and increasingly i find i care less about those things, too. and there is a certain amount of grieving that goes along with that. but being a parent, I have learned that my identity is less about my to do list and more about my to be list. these little ones are master teachers. wish i were a faster learner!

Organic fruit grower, linguist and poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is mother to Finn, age 3, and stepmother to Shawnee, age 24. She's expecting another girl mid-July (between apricot and peach harvest). Her mantra for 2008: "I'm learning."