My first Mother's Day was anticipated for years and three weeks after my son was born. I was sleep deprived and deliriously in love. As my husband celebrated me, and we celebrated our tiny miracle, I wondered, who is celebrating the woman who made me a mom?
How do you celebrate your child's birth mom when Mother's Day is focused on celebrating you? Each adoption situation is different, making the celebration of your child's birth mom unique to your family. After discussing ideas with other adoptive families, I found many activities to choose from when deciding to honor this special role.
Share Pictures and Memories
Create and share picture books or special items that are related to your child's birth mom. Keep in mind your child's age and emotional receptiveness/readiness to do so.
Picaboo, Shutterfly and Costco offer cost effective options for creating photo books. Amazon also sells a pre-made adoption baby book with a section on birth families: My Family, My Journey: A Baby Book for Adoptive Families.
Celebrate Your Child's History
For some families, celebrating a birth mother is difficult because of limited information or a complex relationship. In this situation, focusing on biological culture or birth history is an option.
How We Incorporate Birth Culture into our Family Life gives ideas for celebrating birth culture every day. If you cannot celebrate your child's birth mom specifically, you can celebrate aspects of her that are important for your child to know.
Reach Out to a Birth Mother
You may not be able to reach out to a birth mother that specifically touched your family through adoption, but you can reach out to others. The sadness and loss that can fill a birth mom's heart can be compounded on Mother's Day. A card or flowers are simple ways to touch a hurting heart. Encourage others around you to do the same.
Personal Gifts
- Handmade card (or a card with scribbles from little ones)
- Framed picture
- Flowers
- Care package packed with favorite items
- Photo album
- DVD of pictures
- Photo collage to music
- Book with a recording of your child reading it
- Jewelry with your child's birthstone
Mother's Day can prompt above normal levels of gratitude to be felt. With the ideas above, each Mother's Day (and the days in between) can be a celebration of both mom and the woman that made you one.
Do you celebrate your child's birth mom on Mother's Day? What do you do?
