As a regular writer for our sister blog Wisebread, this article goes against every frugal bone in my body. It pains me to even think about it but the result is worth it, even if it hurts my wallet and my idea of getting more bang for your buck. When it comes time for gifts, you can stop a lot of arguments by buying the same thing for every kid.
I can here the naysayers already. Trust me; I'm usually one of them on this subject. But let me tell you a few stories that will hopefully shed some light on my position.
When I was but a mere uncle and not a father, I would buy gifts for my two nieces all the time. And being a frugal shopper, I loved the idea of getting two toys that, when combine, became an even greater gift. For example, a Barbie Doll and a Barbie Pony...great idea huh? One girl gets the Barbie, the other the sweet Pony, and together they could play for hours. What is it the Wonder Pets are always saying? Teamwork?
Well, I soon learned my lesson the hard way. No matter which girl I gave the pony to, the other wanted it. Sort of. The conversation, which involved many tears and me scratching my bald head, went something like this. The girls were around 5 and 3 at the time.
"Look what I got you guys...a Barbie for you..."
"...and a pony for you. And you can play together."
Crying follows, for about 3 mins. It was like I'd slapped them both around the face with a smelly old fish!
After they calmed down, I asked what was wrong. The older girl said "But I wanted the pony?!"
Well, I figured the 3 yr old wouldn't mind, so I swapped.
More crying, screaming, and kicking. That was a really bad idea.
"Well, I can't give you both a pony. I have a Barbie and a Pony, how about I just give them to you and you guys can play with them equally?
"Uncle Paul? Is the pony mine?"
"It's both of yours" I said. "Sharing is fun."
Crying. A lot. This continued until their frustrated mother came into the yard with an identical popsicle for each of them, and put the toys in the toy chest.
Silence.
What had I done wrong? Well, I had equated the laws of adults to the laws of children. And they don't live in our world. I was once told children are more like cavemen, with basic principles like "this is mine, that's yours, touch it and I hit you over the head with a club."
After that day I was careful not to give gifts in the same way. I would buy clothing or candy, which was easy to duplicate.
Then I had two girls of my own, and thus, the cycle repeated itself. It was like I had forgotten everything being an uncle had taught me. If I gave my 18 month old the blue plate, the toddler wanted it. If I gave her the pink plate, same story.
If I bought storybooks, my older girl wanted what the youngest had, even though it was way too basic for her.
All of this has since been reduced to a minimum since I started cloning the gifts, clothes, candy and toys.
To that end, even when I saw two amazing little Shrek plush babies recently, I had to stop myself from buying two different kinds and stick to buying identical babies. I really wanted to buy the baby boy Shrek and the baby girl Shrek, but I could already see World War 3 erupting in my living room. So, I put my "more bang for you buck" head to one side and doubled-up on gifts.
You may have it slightly easier if you have a boy and a girl, but that doesn't mean those fights won't happen. They still argue over who gets the blue popsicle and the green one. I've even seen my nephew steal the Barbie away from his sister, throwing his G.I. Joe to one side. Did he want it to play with? Nah. Did he want it because she had it? Getting much warmer.
My advice to you all, from one humble parent to another, is clone those gifts. Buy two, three or four of everything and enjoy the peace and quiet of a non-conflict environment. At least, for a few minutes anyway.
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