There are few things in a man’s life more terrifying than having surgery in THAT part of the body. Even having someone probing around down there is not cool. It's the holy grail of body parts, and it’s strictly off-limits, except to a chosen few.
My wife and I vacillated about a vasectomy for years. Should we have more kids? Can we afford it? How would it affect our ability to provide for the two we have? Are we emotionally prepared to have another baby?
Once we settled on an answer, there was no question that I would be the one to go under the knife. Hey, it’s reversible, so why foreclose on the option altogether? I mean, we MIGHT hit the lottery one day and want to grow our own basketball team.
Before seeing a urologist, I consulted with my buddies who underwent the procedure and, to a man, each of them recommended that I proceed. This is one of those situations, though, where no matter what anyone else tells you, your own experience and comfort level is most important.
Here were my main concerns:
- How much would it hurt?
- How long would the pain last?
- Would it alter my sex life?
- Would it change the feeling of sex?
Most importantly, I wanted to know how successful the procedure would be.
From the first moment I met the urologist, he put me at ease. I asked him, “Should I expect any change in feeling regarding sex?”
His response: “If there’s a change it’s up here (pointing to his head). Not down there.”
The main concern is that the procedure is not 100% effective. There is always a slim chance of a swimmer evading capture. That’s why you go back to the urologist to provide several samples until they can tell there’s no activity in there.
It was the procedure itself that worried me most. It requires a man — or his trusted wife – shaving his nether region and preparing to put himself on full display while a VERY trusted doctor makes tiny incisions in a beloved part of his anatomy and does the dirty work.
I chose to have my procedure in office. Why? For one, a good friend of mine did the same thing and said it was much easier than being put under anesthesia at a surgery center, and two, it costs a whole lot less. I know that this is not like shopping for a discount on a new car but hey, money’s money.
My doctor cranked up some music and we talked about manly stuff: baseball and booze, while he held my babymakers in his hands. All went well and despite feeling like I was swollen to the size of a small watermelon, I managed to make it home.
The next few days were very uncomfortable, and you’ll need several bags of ice or frozen vegetables on hand to keep the swelling down. The one piece of advice I would give you is this: Breathe deeply before taking a look down there after surgery. You've probably never seen anything like it.
The pain continued for a week or so and I began to wonder if it would ever feel completely normal again. It does. The biggest challenge, though, especially if you have young children, is convincing them to let you relax and refraining from jumping on you. My sons tend to treat my body like a jungle gym. The playground was closed for a few weeks.
In the end, my fears were put to rest. I’m six months post-op and all is well. A precise physician, a doting wife, and some less than rambunctious kids were the recipe for a successful surgery. If you’re considering a vasectomy, discuss with your partner, do your homework, and talk to your friends about their experiences. There’s nothing to worry about.